Emotional Intelligence | Cara's Main Page

Dec 8, 2007

marvin. what can i say about marvin. he's a neat freak. he wouldn't give me space when i needed it so i slapped him. he gives me a lot of space now. his grandma cleans our room without asking. i asked her to stop and it hasnt happened again but it frustrates me.

i havent heard from paddi in a few days. i kinda miss him. he gave me a bit of a purpose. im jus too tired right now.

i ahve thought about the assignment. im trying. i have a lot happening right now, mostly crystal. i couldn't write to you. im scared of you. im scared of being disapproved of again. im scared youl desert me again. im scared of what you think and feel about me. but i miss you so much. i just want to feel safe. safe from m. safe from your judgment and abandonment. safe from myself. im not sure what to think or feel right now.

i can't keep talking to laura. it feels bad but it just hurts too much. the world is winning, steve. against her, against me. and cryssie. oh god. its all my fucking fault. im pathetic, not goo enough, not enough to ever help anyone and my support isnt enough to make them stay.

im lost right now. im not really sure where to go from here in my life. good luk with the anna letter.

ily.
xx Cara